Yoga and "Happy"

I try to make it to yoga classes at the gym once or twice a week. I go specific days for two teachers whom I love, but also partly to avoid one particular teacher. Occasionally, I'm unlucky and this woman subs for one of my regular classes. Today was one of those days. I hate to say it, but this woman bugs me. It's not that she tends to have the music a little too loud or that she talks during the final meditation so that it's actually hard to actually meditate. Those things I can overlook and can even ignore. What bugs me about this woman is her insistence that everyone be happy in her class, her insistence that everyone smiles.

I understand that happiness can be contagious. I've been around those people who can just smile and make everyone around them smile. And if you want to create happiness around you by just being happy, then by all means, be happy. But don't tell me that I have to be. I enjoy yoga immensely and some days it does make me happy, some days I feel exhilarated, some just tired, and then there are days when I'm there mostly for pain management. I can't hold downward-facing dog as long as usual; it hurts to hold my arms above my head. It's the most I can do to keep from crying. The last thing I want on those days is to be told that I have to smile and be happy.

I know it sounds like I'm in a bad mood. I'm not really. I'm just neutral right now and it bothered me to be told I have to be happy because I'm in yoga and yoga is happy. Yoga is different things to different people. And it's not "happy" for me. It's about being at peace with my body. And today it was very far from happy, but I do feel better for it. And that's what matters to me, not "happy".

I do have some fiber related stuff to show, but it was rainy today, so no good pictures. Perhaps tomorrow.